cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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