i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
