Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
