dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
