dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
