I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's never too late to be topless.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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