so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
