I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
