Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
NoShamevember. You game?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Randomize
