my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
