Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
