garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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