Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
