You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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