do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
