worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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