Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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