There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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