What did we do last night that was yellow?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
