i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
