if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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