We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
