Soap is not a condiment
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
