You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
