I got chris browned last night
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
