i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
