i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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