we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
