ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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