Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
