no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
