If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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