3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
