i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
