weddingsv make me drug and hornr
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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