i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
