I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
