hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
