You can't special order awesome
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
