you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
