Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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