That's when you crack a 10am beer
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
