so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
