i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
