Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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