just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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