I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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