Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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