I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
