I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
